Tape
by manyissues101
Summary: -KairiCentric- She was like the tape that held them all together and she was scared because tape didn't always stick and glue didn't come up, and if she was nothing then Riku and Sora would just blow away and she'd be left there with nothing.


Yes, it seems that that is RikuKairi hints, but it wasn't meant to promote that. I believe that Sora and Kairi are meant to be, but I also think that Kairi thinks about Riku, just as she does here, for reasons to be explained.

I don't own Kingdom Hearts, Kingdom Hearts owns me.

Oh, and I listened to the instrumental piece 'Forever Love' by Nobuo Uematsu when I wrote this. I recommend downloading that from Limewire or something to listen to while you read because it only makes the story that much more powerful.

This is a companion to my other two fics, Fear and Because. You don't have to read those, but they make a nice little collection.

0----0

Kairi was the only one that ever gave them reason to believe. She knew this; she knew that she was their reason for everything. And she took some pride in this because she couldn't remember if she had ever been special to anyone before, but now she was special to two people. She was Riku's inspiration and Sora's possible love. She could only hope about the latter, though.

She was like the tape that held them all to their island, and that's why she was scared of leaving on the raft because tape didn't stick as well when you put it somewhere else. And glue didn't come up, so she couldn't be glue, and tacks were painful, and if she was nothing then Riku and Sora would just blow away and she'd be left there with nothing. And suddenly it would be just like when she came to the islands because she would have nothing and be nothing without the two of them. Those two boys made her whole.

So she helped and she planned and she dreamed and she watched as Sora began to have strange dreams and Riku began to change and grow colder and she was the only one with any doubts even though they had more reasons to doubt than she did. So she pretended that she was as excited as them because, really, she was—even if it was only because they were excited.

The storm came and she was afraid. She had told Sora earlier that day about how she had doubts and fears…and how she noticed that Riku was slipping farther and farther away from them. Sora just didn't seem to get it—that's what she loved about him. But she had stayed outside that night to watch the night engulf the sky and think. So she was the first one to tell that something was wrong, the first one to go check on the raft. She didn't get two steps onto the beach when she felt something calling to her. She ran into the secret place and gasped. The door, the one that had always just been there, was glowing and black wisps were streaming from the edges. That's all she remembered for a long time.

The rest was like a hazy dream, where nothing was certain and nothing really happened but it didn't matter because it was only a dream. Except now nothing was certain, nothing really happened, and it did matter because it wasn't only a dream. She was a lifeless puppet, nothing more. Though sometimes she thought that she could hear Riku and Sora calling out to her. She later realized that she could hear Sora because he held her heart…so why could she hear Riku? Maybe because with all of his strength, and his light, though disguised as it was now, and all of his wonder…maybe he was like her heart.

And when she could open her eyes and when the hazy dream was over she saw Sora. He was shining…bursting into thousands of pricks of light and dissipating in front of he. He gave her one of his smiles, but his eyes gave him away because this smile didn't touch his eyes like all the other ones did. And she tried to hold him, tried to save him, but she couldn't because Fate is a cruel, cruel thing. And then she saw Riku…Riku who had tried so hard to save her. She knew know, she knew it all, because her heart knew and now she had her heart. And she saw Riku and she called to him, so that he' d know that she loved him, and that she hadn't forgotten about him, and that she forgave him, and a million other things that he'd never know because she could never say them.

She knew him somehow. She knew that Sora was somewhere inside that…thing, that heartless. But he wouldn't be heartless, she knew, because that was impossible because Sora's heart was the strongest thing that she had ever known. And, maybe, since he held her heart she held his—and if not, then maybe she could give hers back to him because she really didn't need it as badly as he did.

She was holding him…a flash of light, and he had returned to her. And she couldn't remember ever feeling so warm, so important, and so happy. Because he had saved her and now she had saved him and everything could be equal because he was happy. And when he was happy, she was happy. But she couldn't ignore that nagging voice in the back of her mind, the one that told her that her other boy wasn't happy and she was being selfish and forgetting all about him.

Sora took her back with him, introduced her to his new friends. They seemed to know all about her, and all about Riku. But they knew the story from Sora's perspective. True, that was all she knew, but she knew Riku enough to know why he had done it. And it made her upset that they couldn't know how truly good he was because she didn't know how to put that kind of feeling into words. Riku's soul, his heart, his light—it was all to complex, to intricate, to be described.

He wouldn't let her go with him because it was too dangerous…but she didn't want him to face that danger all alone, and she didn't want him and Riku there without him because she was their tape, or glue, or tack, or whatever it was that held them all together without fail. She was their heart—their light. But she gave Sora her charm, something to remember her by, and it hurt her heart that she couldn't give Riku anything because he had every right to remember her too, because he loved her and she loved him and she loved Sora and he loved her—and it made her heart hurt.

Suddenly, without warning, she was there…standing on the beach, looking at Sora and his friends. And there was a door…and Sora was walking towards it. And she wanted to yell to him, tell him not to go into that door. But he wasn't, he was trying to close it. And she watched him push and push and she wished that she could help—that she could do anything. And it was with a shock that she saw a head of silver hair, and a familiar gloved hand on the other side of the door. He was here…they both were. And Kairi wanted to shout out to Sora to stop closing the door on Riku, because maybe he didn't see Riku trying to push it back open. And she knew that he was really pulling it closed on himself, but she didn't believe it, and she wouldn't believe it and she cried the whole time because none of it made sense anymore and she was losing one of her boys who was only lost because he loved her and had tried to save her the only way that he knew how.

Sora came to her, and just looked at her for a second. She had stopped crying, Riku and the door were gone now…she couldn't cry anymore because she had cried it all already. And she briefly rejoiced at the fact that she and Sora could go home together and be in love just as they always had been, and she tried to ignore that little voice in her head that had always reminded her that she loved Riku. But there was a tremor and, oh, Sora wasn't coming home with her and she reached out to him because she was like the tape that held them all together but tape didn't stick as well when you put it somewhere else. And glue didn't come up, so she couldn't be glue, and tacks were painful, and if she was nothing then Riku and Sora would just blow away and she'd be left there with nothing. And suddenly it would be just like when she came to the islands because she would have nothing and be nothing without the two of them. Those two boys made her whole. But now they were blowing away and she would be nothing.

She walked into the Secret Place, where it had all begun for her. She knelt down to look at the only reminder of him that was only hers. That's when she saw the addition—the fruit. And tears rolled down her face because she loved him and he loved her and for a few minutes the 'Riku Voice' didn't bother her so much because it knew that it had lost. So she took those few minutes without doubt to return Sora's love because she knew that one day he'd come back to see it.

He faded from her memories slowly, until he was nothing but a whisper in the wind and a smile in a dream. And the only one that was there was Riku and she loved him and wanted him to come home so that she could show him how much she loved him. But she didn't know where he had gone because no one knew, and they all though that he had just disappeared with the storm—just like her—except he was never to come back. And it made Kairi cry because he was her heart and she loved him…but then there was that nagging voice telling her that she loved someone else…and she had dreams about a boy who held her lucky charm, which had been lost in the storm, and who made her a promise that she couldn't remember.

His name started with an 'S' and he held her heart. And she couldn't remember him, but she knew that he was there, and she knew that he wasn't Riku. But she couldn't help wondering how she could love this boy that she knew had been on the island, even though no one had any memory of it, more than she could love Riku. Riku had always been there with her, everyone remembered him, and Kairi had always cared for him. And she hoped that, if she ever found the 'S' boy that she'd never find Riku, even though she yearned to, so that he'd never have to know that she'd picked some stranger over him. And she even considered writing him a letter like she did to the 'S' boy, but decided against it because it would be better for him not to know—if he was alive, which she was sure he was.

When she remembered it all made sense to her, besides the small detail about why she had forgotten him, and she cried for choosing Riku over him and for crying about choosing Riku, and for the fact that not only had she forgotten about Sora, she had ignored Riku during her whole journey because he loved her just as much and she loved him too, and it was only clear when there was no one else in the picture. And she cried for a long time for everything that happened because they were both heroes that deserved to be cried over.

Offers to see him…strange men taking her hostage to get to Sora…it made her angry. She wasn't about to give in, to let them get to Sora. She wouldn't put him in danger. And, for the first time ever, she wished that he had never promised to come back to her because now it would lead him here and she wouldn't let herself put him in that kind of danger for her—that's how she had lost Riku. Riku, who had appeared so suddenly out of nowhere, she learned. When Namine said his name…Kairi couldn't help but want to run over to him and hug him and kiss him and tell him that she loved him more than Sora because he had done and risked so much more for her, but still came up short.

And she saw those hellfire eyes that pierced her soul because they weren't his eyes. And that darker skin that wasn't his because he had always had that cool, insipid look to him. And the rest of him that wasn't him, but instead a person from nightmares, even though she knew that it was him because she could feel him there, but she cried because she didn't want it to be him even though she knew it was, just like when she knew that he was locking himself behind the door even though she didn't want to admit it.

When she saw Sora her heart stopped and she smiled and her palms got sweaty and she had to call down to him. And love makes you do stupid things, she learned, because she was acting reckless and stupid even though she should have learned that lesson from Riku. And that thought brought her back around to him, the boy that gave up his body, his heart, his whole being so that she could be safe and so that Sora could be safe because he loved her and he loved Sora in that way that only two male friends could, and it didn't matter what became of him because that was they way he was.

Sora was taller than before…and warmer…and he smelt better…but he was still him. She was in his arms, her head racing, her heart thumping, and her 'Riku Voice' telling her to turn around, but none of that mattered because she was numb to it all because there he was and, oh, how beautiful he was. And he had to let go of her eventually, just to see Riku turn away…and he spoke to him. And Kairi wanted to cry because the three of them were together again but she couldn't do her job and help them stay that way. So she ran to the boy that she could have almost loved, because that was how it was, and she grabbed his arm so that she could do her job and keep them together and be happy. But Sora had his doubts and Riku was afraid, but Kairi was determined to make them all see, and she stopped for a minute to wonder when their roles had been reversed, but that wasn't as important making things right again. And there they were, holding hands, because when they closed there eyes it didn't matter that Riku wasn't himself, or that Kairi and Sora were more mature and in love. All that mattered was that there they were, holding hands, together.

And she didn't want leave them behind, she really didn't but she didn't have a choice because Namine's portal didn't last long enough and she couldn't open one, even though Namine was a part of her. She didn't want to go back home without her boys because she didn't want to be tape, which stuck but not when you put it somewhere else, but she wanted to be glue—so that this time they would all stick to the island and each other and never leave again because glue is hard to pry up. But she had to face the facts, that she was tape, because she had stuck them all together just moments before, but then she got stuck down again on the islands and she didn't stick as well because she had nothing to hold together and because, well, that's just the way that tape worked.

But there they were, like shooting stars, like meteors. And she knew that it was them because that's what her heart said and it always told her when Sora was near. And she knew that the other one was Riku because she was a true believer in wishful thinking and she was hoping with all of her heart. And when she saw two heads break the surface none of it mattered. It didn't matter that she had forgotten about them, that she didn't know which to love, that she was left behind, that she was tape—they were all that mattered. All that mattered in her whole entire universe was back home. And she was whole again.

Riku was her knight and Sora was her prince. She loved them both, they both had saved her, but she couldn't help feeling that Riku had gotten the wrong end of the deal and that Sora knew that she doubted. But she loved Sora no matter what happened—even though sometimes the broken look in Riku's eyes when he saw them together kept her awake at night. But she wondered if he really cared as much as it seemed, because, when it boiled down to it, he was happy about their relationship. And maybe that's what their love had always been—wanting to see the other one happy. Because all those days later it became clear to her--maybe because with all of his strength, and his light, though disguised as it was now, and all of his wonder…maybe he was like her heart.

Now she wasn't tape, or glue, or a tack, or any other adhesive substance—she was their light. And light held things together better than anything could.


End file.
